Are we in a gay sports bar?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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