Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
