my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
