It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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