She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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