you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
