Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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