So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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