..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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