I'm laying in your front yard are you home
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
