Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
