The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
