hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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