just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
