Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He has the fingertips of a God
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