Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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