Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
