Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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