The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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