I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
