Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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