Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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