i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
