Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
