I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
