So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize