it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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