One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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