I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
