did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize