You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
