used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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