my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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