i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize