i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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