so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.