when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
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We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
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I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina