We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She made me pour olive oil on her.