i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
