i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
