Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
