apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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