She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
