i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
