New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
