while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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