You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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