question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
