So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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