Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
