Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
