girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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