i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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