the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
