Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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