So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
