I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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