You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
