THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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