He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
