I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
