She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
