problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
